Saturday, October 22, 2011

~ sad day ~

Friday was supposed to be an exciting, happy day for us.  I had my first doctor's appointment with the OB and I was looking forward to hearing a healthy heartbeat.  When the doctor did the exam she couldn't find a heartbeat, so she sent me for an ultrasound.  The ultrasound revealed  that, although I was supposed to be a little over eleven weeks pregnant, our baby didn't make it past week seven.  No heartbeat.  It was devastating, but that doesn't really explain my feelings about it.  I can't really put it into words.

The medical facts are that our baby died around the seventh week but my body wasn't showing any signs of miscarriage.  I had two options: Surgery or take a medication that would help my body miscarry.  I chose the medication.  I took one dose last night, and the process started within about four hours (about 3:30 this morning).  There is, of course, both physical and emotional pain, but overall, I think I'm doing as well as can be expected.

I go back to the OB doctor on Monday so they can check my progress and give me a RhoGAM shot (I'm RH-negative).  I need to continue with the gestational diabetes regimen until the placenta has exited my body because the placenta is what causes a pregnant person's body to become insulin resistant.  I will also check in with the GD doctor on Monday. 

Our lights went out last night, so we filled the room with candles.  This candle lit up a picture frame that I got for my birthday from a friend.  I thought it fit the day, so I snapped a photo of it.

This morning, B. sat on my tummy and said, "Baby in there?  Mommy's got a baby in her tummy?"  I paused and then just said "No."  Then she said, "It's gone?".


  1. I am so sorry to hear this! You are in my prayers ... I went through this before Brookie... {{{hugs}}}

  2. I am so very sorry, wish there was something I could do to make everything better!
    Just know that you are surrounded by many people that care deeply about you and your family.
    You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.

  3. I actually saw your comment on the shopping post at Club CK and felt inclined to check out your blog and your story. I just wanted to tell you how very sorry I am for your loss...I have been through the same thing myself 4 times, the last one almost exactly like your story (supposed to be 11 weeks, lost @ 10 weeks)'s very heartbreaking and your pain never really goes away, but it will get better. I'm glad that you have a great partner to support you, and I hope that things get better soon. Take care, Erin Blegen